Second day of the challenge; Do I notice a light of universal love within me that invades my soul and fills my emotions with hope and meaning?
No.
Today has been a day reigned by strange melancholy. I don’t know how to describe it because I’ve really had a fairly simple day compared to the day before. I have taken the challenge in a very natural way, it has to be part of my routine, so I hope that in a few days I will have it fully and absolutely integrated into my day. This feeling of reluctance has to do with love issues probably (it’s always about love issues) and I’ve been carrying it with dignity all day. Yesterday I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning. I opened my eyes at 1 pm. I’ve always liked sleeping in the morning, the city really gets stressed everything is moving and, honestly, it makes me feel a little anxious… I love the feeling of being in bed when everyone is getting stressed or working.
Today I won’t be able to go to sleep late (and I think better, I’m a little tired), because tomorrow I work at the bar.
First of all I did the conscious walk; after meeting for business I decided to take a walk through the city. The clouds came and went through the sky giving rise to a day that could not be described as cloudy but it has definitely not been a sunny day. I have realized something important in identifying whether I am doing the conscious walk correctly; the speed at which you are walking. You won’t be able to observe anything if you run down the street. And believe me, I love to walk in a hurry feeling like I’m a Twilight vampire, sliding quickly between people like a game… but this doesn’t really work if you want to observe. You have to walk calmly. The day has been curious, the predominant colours today have been yellow and lilac. Yellow flowers grow everywhere, among bricks, on statues or roofs! I’ve been walking through Prince’s Street Gardens. They are on construction sites, as everywhere else in this city, there were flowers and a bit of people scattered in the few lawns that have not been shattered by the works. I have observed the plants and flowers. One particular shrub has caught my attention. It was red and its seeds also had a beautiful wine color.
Walking I saw a very small magpie, I didn’t follow it today, as I went up the main street I stopped in front of Scot’s Monument because someone was making bubbles and I thought it was a good image of the day. I took advantage and bought a couple of things I needed for home when I passed in front of a famous store downtown. I’ve counted the time I’ve been inside and what I lacked of conscious walking, and when I left the store I followed the exercise, consuming all the time necessary to overcome the daily challenge. Anyway, I’ll add that I didn’t feel like losing the focus of watching the world when I was shopping.
I just did the meditation and let me tell you that it was a fucking hell! The cough! The annoying cough! It has to come ALWAYS when I’m concentrating more, when I start to feel vibrations around and in my body. MAM! My throat starts to itch and cough and cough, exaggeratedly like my grandmother, and I feel guilty, frustrated but not exaggerated either; extreme drama is reserved for love relationships, never fails, and always seems to be necessary with the number of idiots I seem to hang out with! I have to say that it was not a bad meditation at all, when I finished I felt relaxed, and if it was not for the cursed cough it would have been a good meditation. Thoughts came and went… but they were less “invasive” I feel that today I am more detached from them in my mind, I have been more aware that I had the option of observing the thoughts instead of getting involved.
My reflections today are these: It doesn’t matter how busy you are, and it doesn’t matter if you’re feeling good or coughing. A walk energizes the day, and a meditation relaxes the mind. I’m still excited about the challenge, although I understand that emotions come and go like waves in the sea, without one understanding its currents too much.
Day 2 Completed!
