Heat and humidity: everything home is more Intense than anywhere I’ve ever been. I’m sure it applies to similar places, but I rarely found the same kind of intensity, except maybe Greece and (a little bit) Portugal.
Water is stronger here, it permeates everything and makes it all the more physical. The change is not quick and impalpable, like for thoughts, but fluid and solid, almost visible.
The sounds are filling the ears and the brain. Even when they stop, the vibrations keep moving in your brain like waves and you can still feel them inside you: birds and cicadas chirping, lizards moving in flashing rustles of dry grass, buzzing bumblebees, even the most delicate butterfly’s wings leave an impression. And when the night falls, FROGS. Loud and hypnotic.
The air is warm and heavy, today I spent it all in a sort of observing trance, getting used to it all again. Like being in a uterus, feeling at my place. Feeling trapped.
Walk (in a shopping centre, because it’s too hot during the day and there are too many mosquitoes at night) and meditation (in my garden) were all revolving around these feelings
That’s my love/hate relationship with home. It’s beautiful, but too heavy. I will spend the rest of the days here trying to understand it better.
