Still hard to get out of bed… Morning meditation was good enough, and I added a bit of Reiki to it. As a result, it sharpened me and made me react to apathy, although the rest of the day I spent in frustration. Can’t decide which one’s worse.
I walked again through angry people today, first to go to Calton Hill and then to the Meadows, where there was an improvised rave. I tried to put myself out there and dance and let go.
I saw many people I love, many hugged me and danced with me and were happy to see me. I’m unable to feel happy instead, and I didn’t like the music so I left early enough, as I didn’t feel in contact with anybody. Or with myself. It’s hard to keep being open and I’m still unable to control it or to know how to trigger it.
I was very tempted to let go of the challenge and everything else today, and just don’t write a post and not do any reflections on my day. Out of habit, I still decided to write a post for tonight. Not sure what mood I’ll be in tomorrow
