I had a false start this morning.
I didn’t do my usual (since the Challenge started) meditation after waking up, so I felt like rushing into things to “go there-do this-get that out of the way”. The coffee didn’t come up right, I spilled food out of the pot and had to make it again, I almost burned the potatoes I was preparing for the Friday shared lunch…
I stopped and went back upstairs, taking 15 minutes to reset the day. I burned some incense and gave myself a quick Reiki shower. Went back downstairs, still uneasy but more detached, deciding to let go of the overcontrolling attitude and just let things happen. I felt immediately more relaxed and I went to the Salisbury Centre for the usual meditation and lunch.
Meditation, again, was ok but not consistent. Daydreaming is happening a lot, and I need to constantly redirect my attention through breathing. When I manage, though, the peaceful state of mind I get to is very intense and satisfying.
I spent part of the afternoon under the sun in the garden, but the sun was too hot, the air too still. A butterfly standing on a flower next to me. She didn’t move, and got the chance to take at least ONE good photo of her.
Later on I went to a café with a friend who, like me, has been trying the freelance artist life for a while but finds it hard to make it a daily reality again. For a very long time, simply staring at a white page with a pencil in my hand would only make me feel empty and useless. We had coffee and made some doodles together, finding inspiration in each others company. I didn’t feel happy while drawing, but I felt NOT awkward. An improvement (?).
I went up to Calton hill through the North side. A hotel-chain sign attracted my attention today: a crescent Moon with 3 stars making sort of a circle. On top of the hill, a Magpie was sitting on top of a tree, unmoving, kind of looking at me, for 5 minutes. Patterns. Cycles.
Today I feel still. A cycle is coming to close, the boat is not moving, the tide is low and there is no wind. Frustration won’t help me move, so I wait, still, once more.
