I’ve been very moody these days, torn in between many choices that I don’t want to make, because any of them will bring endings. Like the Scottish weather, so changeable and powerful. The clouds and the wind and the sun and the wind and the clouds and the rain and the wind and the sun and the wind, the wind, the wind.
A broken heart is a brave . Never be afraid of your feelings being exposed. Don’t let them bring you down, falling into the trap of self-pity. Embrace yourself and love your love and passion.
Passion creates courage. Courage creates movement. Movement creates life.
Today I felt my courage again. Yoga in the morning, and I loved my disappointment for the exercises that I found difficult. 15 minutes meditation, and I loved all my little thoughts and obsessions. I went for my walk to Calton Hill (keep going there, yep) and I found myself reflecting on the rune Ingwaz, seeing it in the shape of twigs, rocks and flowers. There are many interpretations for runes. What Ingwaz represents for me is a sparkle. The moment when the fire is about to be lit, the heat hitting the wood, when you still don’t know what kind of fire is going to come out. Is it going to be warm enough? Will it burn down everything? Will it falter and turn off all of the sudden? Whatever the outcome, this is also the nature of courage: igniting a sparkle and have faith in it.
I spent the rest of the day out, alone with myself and reading and drinking coffee and enjoying some proper alone-time. I went for some drinks with a friend/colleague who’s been a long time with us, and she’s finally moving on to a new adventure. This event is a source of inspiration, and I feel closer to the next change.
I enjoyed myself, got slightly drunk (just 3 glasses of sangria…) and I completed my meditation of the day still tipsy. It was interesting to feel first my head spinning, and then the anxiety trying to overwhelm me, and still be able to practice breathing exercise and Om chanting and let go of all the tension.
Feeling brave.
