On Unconditional Love.
The effects of Mercury not retrograde any more are strongly visible, my mind is poised and observant again. In all the intuitive struggle of the past 3 weeks, this is what I think I learned.
Opening to Unconditional Love is Freedom and it’s painful. Extremely. For Ego.
Ego feels threatened, it feels lost and scared of being put aside forever, it doesn’t accept not to be the one and only for yourself, and it will do everything it can to create lies for both mind and guts, to stir body and brain to the extreme, only to make sure the attention goes back to It.
Being open to Unconditional Love create and infinite light space in the Heart, which is so unthinkable and huge that Ego feels lost in it and will swing your emotions and stir your physical cravings to the extreme, just to pull you up and down and out of it, back to its own small safety.
Unconditional Love truly opens your Heart. If you are able to glimpse it and get hold of it, for just one moment, you will know what it is: Opening, Free space towards the inside. All events in life that don’t have the “happy ending” Ego demands, they will maybe make your head turn around, ask “why me/why not me”, try to make you feel small and empty and useless, but you just hold on to it. You’ll always be safe seeing the Truth inside, if you trust it.
My life is still the same in surface. I’m working in a hostel, working with Reiki, seeing friends, refusing to get a house, travelling, learning and re-learning how to connect the drawing with my soul. I cried, I have been disappointed and had to let go of many things that made me feel like my world was getting even smaller. But inside.
Inside it’s all huge and light and beautiful and I am so very greatfull and I have no I idea how this will integrate with the surface yet, but I can’t wait to share it with the world.
I write this before starting my day, and will do my meditation and yoga and walk now, because this Challenge is opening me, and I want to be Open and never close again.
I went for my walk, and like in the last couple of days, I felt like the world was withdrawing from me. Or maybe I’m too much inside myself and I need to get closer to the surface. As I said before, I will need to bring my Freedom with me, so I believe it will take some more time to adjust.
I did half an hour meditation, with a straight spine and a feeling of lightness and stable center in the mind. I added 20 minutes Reiki, as I needed to release more emotions, and now I’m getting ready for the Edinburgh Tattoo Festival.. the opening of the Fringe! It’s the 1st of August, Challenge Day 53.
