I’ve been re-reading my posts so far. I’m uneasy and some part of me keeps saying I’m wrong, I’m not seeing something important. I can’t understand what it is though.
Keeping the heart open, being brave, rationally accepting the situation, letting the Universe decide and being patient, holding on to the Soul’s unconditional love and not letting the Ego drag me into the self-pity trap. I’m doing all these things at the same time, even drawing since a couple of days, but nothing seems to fit in a complete puzzle.
The meditation of the morning was a disastrous daydreaming excuse, work was fast and I decided to try again. This time I put incense on and I intentionally visualised myself on a path and try some active meditation to see if I could unlock myself and my restlessness.
It worked well for a few hours, but then I started feeling uneasy again. I had dinner out, and listened to Music, gave Reiki to my sister and talked with a few friends. Nothing, still feeling the same nonsensical “wrong” vibe.
I went for a 45 minutes walk, daydreaming at moments, focusing on the road through the traffic lights, which I decided to cross zigzagging in Princes Street everytime that I found them on my way. I managed a bit of fun… The same with some doodling today, which didn’t turn out in anything meaningful but …. At least, I’m trying.
I miss laughing and lightness.
Something missing…
